Never Forgotten
by elvenbloodhound
Summary: Thannor is my OC elf from ME. He does not have anything to do with the timeline Tolkien set forth other than he is alive during. In this short, he dreams of his time as a slave and the human he loved within the harems. Cover Art Credit to the Artist.


The dream came unbidden, pulling him into the past. The sight of the harem walls a shock as he wandered the halls, his bare feet feeling the cool marble as he moved through the moonlit filled passageway.

The warm breeze slid across his bare chest, tugging at strands of his waist length hair. The smell of exotic spices and perfumes that always hung pungent in the air filling him as he let his feet take them where they willed. His senses were overwhelmed, the surroundings pulling him deeper into memory.

He entered the central room where fountains flowed, the sound of water soft and melodic. It was empty at this time of the night, the only activity that of the water and the small birds murmuring in the branches of the trees. The plants and flowers, mosaic tile and marble muted from their vibrant color as only the moon illuminated them.

He walked to the nearest fountain, bending to feel the cool water flow over his hand. Confusion filled him, he couldn't understand what was doing in this place. A fleeting thought entered his mind wondering if his current life had been the dream. He straightened, the overpowering reality of the place filling him with a sense of dread. A cold empty feeling radiating out from his heart. Kyari...

He heard slight movement, turning his head toward the sound to find he was not alone here. Easily piercing the shadows, he caught sight of the tall form of Jadhiran. He stood stunned watching as the man moved closer. Through the shock, his lips curved. He could scarcely believe it. You are alive?

He turned to face the man, smiling softly as he approached. Tall, lithe and handsome, Thannor still could not understand why Jadhiran had never been called to the Master. He was a gentle and patient lover. A skilled musician and dancer. He should have been much loved by the one who owned him. Yet he had not been. He had been ignored, left to languish in the depths of the harem.

The truth was, Thannor was honestly glad the young man had not caught the Master's eye. The cruelty of the Kings of this land would have destroyed such a gentle soul.

Jadhiran came into view, the moonlight glinting off his dark red hair as he walked toward Thannor. "What are you doing good up?" His voice was soft, though it echoed into the open space.

Thannor looked at him, not sure what to say. This could have been one of a hundred memories, yet nothing was exactly familiar. "I am not certain." He replied, positive the confusion showed on his features as he tried to work out what was happening.

Jadhiran chuckled, "Perhaps you were walking in your sleep mîl nin." Moving closer, he reached out to tuck a strand of Thannor's hair back behind his ear before cupping his face.

The sound of Jadhiran's voice washed over Thannor. The words 'my love' spoken in his language bringing the emotion it always had coming from Jadhiran. It had the ring of the strange dialect of the peoples here, and he knew he had not heard it in more years than he could count.

Thannor sighed, "If that is the case, I have woken from the strangest dream." He lifted a hand to cover Jadhiran's, looking into those long dead eyes. It was surreal, knowing he should not be here. That he had been dead for almost two millennia. Yet his touch felt real… so very real.

Jadhiran's expression changed to one of concern. "Are you alright? Do I need to fetch…"

"No. I am fine." The tone was cool, aloof. Exactly how he had spoken to the man back then. Thannor shook himself, "What are you doing here?" His tone softening.

Jadhiran shrugged a shoulder, dropping his hand to his side. "I could not sleep, though I wonder now if it is because you are restless."

Thannor had to admit the possibility was high in that count. Jadhiran had always been sensitive to him. He had always known when his dreams had turned bad. Many times he had woken from the dreams to find Jadhiran sitting outside his door, waiting for him to wake. "I am sorry I keep you from your sleep."

Jadhiran grinned, "I am not sorry. I missed you. I am, however, glad you're not having the nightmare." As he spoke, he stepped closer to Thannor, bending his head to kiss him gently. "I wish you would tell me the dream. Maybe if you did…" He looked into Thannor's eyes, searching them.

Thannor started to look away as he always had, but stopped. This was a dream, Jadhiran was a dream. His eyes met the younger man's green orbs, "Perhaps it is time. I should have told you long ago."

Jadhiran's eyes widened slightly, but he only smiled down at Thannor.

Thannor had a moment of amusement as he looked up into the young man's face. Until Aintaru, the male guise of his mate Kyari, Jadhiran had been the only one he ever had to look up to kiss them. He did so now, letting his lips linger on the man's for a long moment, breathing in the scent of the man/ The aroma making his heart pound. So real… this was all too real… He stepped back. "Let us go back to my rooms. I do not wish anyone else to hear."

Jadhiran nodded, turning to walk in his customary spot, to the right and slightly behind Thannor as they traversed the halls back to the elf's rooms.

Reaching back, Thannor took Jadhiran's hand, pulling him up even with him, "For tonight at the very least you will walk beside me." He said firmly. Jadhiran's throaty chuckle met his ears once more as the man acquiesced to the elf's whim.

Thannor's mind was blank and content as they walked the halls, something he had never felt when this was his prison. Yet… things were so vivid, so clear. He could feel Jadhiran's hand in his, the warmth, the softness of the skin beneath his fingers. The scent pervading the air filled his nostrils. He did not know how or what was going on, but he would see it to its completion.

He just hoped it would not lead to him having to watch the man die again.

He had loved him, and the pain of losing him had been deep. His fingers tightened on the hand in his own, feeling the responding squeeze from the man. He decided then, that he would change how things had been within this dream world. He would know what it was like to hold or be held by his lover, through the night. Something he had never allowed while the Jadhiran had been alive. Perhaps, in this dream world Jadhiran would know, it had been out of the love Thannor felt that he had forbidden it.

Reaching the elf's rooms, Thannor entered first, through the curtains that hung in place of doors here. Thannor's rooms were secluded and private, as he was a favorite of the King. Opulently appointed with a main room, bathing room and bedchamber to his disposal. The first two he had willingly shared with Jadhiran. It was the last that had been off limits. Their lovemaking confined to the cushions littering the floor, or the private baths.

Jadhiran walked immediately to his favorite spot in the room, sitting near the corner, next to the one window allowing the moon light to stream into the room. Thannor watched him, his head tilted, his hair sliding over his shoulder as he smiled, "Shall we have wine?" He asked moving to the table on which sat a carafe of sweet white wine and a tray of fruits he kept for idle eating.

Jadhiran made to rise causing Thannor to growl softly, "Sit. I am capable of bringing it." He picked up the carafe and two cups, walking over to the low table next to Jadhiran. He set the items down, pouring the wine before he too sat on the cushions.

Jadhiran was watching him, a look of concern shadowing his features as he took the cup from Thannor, "What has gotten into you tonight?" He asked as he lifted the cup to his lips.

Thannor drained his cup, pouring a second before he answered, "That is a loaded question lover." He said softly as he leaned back against the cushions.

Jadhiran placed his cup on the table, turning to face Thannor as he leaned on his elbow, "I have nothing but time, and it sounds like you have much on your mind."

Thannor smiled, "That is an understatement, but I will begin with why I do not allow you to sleep in my chambers with me." Reaching over he ran a finger along Jadhiran's jaw. "The nightmares… they are a single memory." He closed his eyes, letting his hand fall back to his side, "The last time I allowed someone to share my bed for the night, the dream came. I almost killed the girl. She was left scarred and traumatized."

He felt the cushions shifting and suddenly Jadhiran was there, kneeling before him. "You fear such a thing for me?" He asked, emotion thick as he cupped Thannor's face.

Thannor nodded, "I could not chance it with you. She was but a whore, when you are not." He gave the man a half smile, "The memory that prompts these dreams is the day I lost my wife and unborn son. A violent day, that left me twisted in mind, body and spirit." He told the story, slowly, each word falling from his lips devoid of emotion, hollow and empty. He did not know how long he spoke, but the story tumbled out of him, just as it had for Kyari in that mountaintop cave.

When he finished, he opened his eyes to meet the horrified and tear streaked face of his lover.

Jadhiran made a keening noise as he spoke in the language of his own people, "Holy Goddess, my love, such pain." He then switched to the common language, "Thannor, I don't know what to say…" He sat back on his heels, "I was wrong to pry. To ask you to share such a private thing. Forgive me."

"No, it is alright. I should have told you long ago. I should have explained why, not left you to wonder why I never held you as we slept. You should not have had to trust my words were true. That my love was true." He reached out to his lover, his hand sliding down his arm to take his hand. "It is I who should ask forgiveness Jadhiran."

The man's eyes shimmered as he smiled at the elf, "Why don't we call it a wash? You have my forgiveness and I have yours."

Thannor chuckled now, "You have a deal."

Jadhiran rose, moving back around the table to lounge on the cushions once more. "I understand now how they could not break you. You endured so much worse at the hands of that scum." He poured another cup of wine, offering it to Thannor, "Drink my love. I can tell the wound has reopened somewhat."

Thannor took the cup and downed its contents, "It is not as bad as I expected, I was a fool not to share this with you."

Jadhiran snorted, "It was your story Thannor, it was your pain. I know you better than that. You have always held both close to your chest. No one here knows of you before your capture. Though many still wonder. I had only hoped to help ease your sleep, had I known the pain…" He made a distressed sound, "I would not have pressed."

Thannor rose, "Enough, you did nothing wrong." He came around the table and held out his hand, "Come with me." His tone was gentle and soft, causing the younger man to look at him in question, though he immediately placed his hand in Thannor's.

Thannor led the man toward the one door that had been barred to him. Jadhiran stopped, pulling back, "That was not why…" He began as Thannor turned.

"I know. Come with me." He said again, pulling the young man along as he entered the bedchamber.

Once inside, Thannor turned to face the man, his other hand reaching out to capture Jadhiran's free hand, "I had decided this before I told you my story."

Jadhiran looked around as a slow devilish smile curved his lips. He didn't hesitate any longer as he moved to take his lover in his arms, "Now to wear you out, so there is no chance of a dream." He kissed Thannor with fervor, walking him back toward the bed.

Jadhiran slept sprawled across the bed as Thannor extracted himself carefully from the bed. Their lovemaking had been hard and fast at first, then long and slow… as if they had been long apart. After, they both succumbed to sleep tangled in each other's arms.

Thannor had assumed he would wake back in his time, back in the bed he shared with his mate. Kyari… were you just a fantasy? Another dream to plague my soul? He looked back at the lean form of Jadhiran. The love he had for the man was nothing in comparison to what he felt for the kitsune. He walked to the window, looking out at the early morning sky. Why was he still here? Was there something he had not yet done?

He turned to watch Jadhiran sleep. What was it that he needed to do? He had told the man his story, he had slept in his arms. What was it that held him in this dream space? When exactly was this in his memory? He had had these rooms for years before the night Jadhiran had been poisoned. Could it be he would have to relive that moment? He rather doubted it, Jadhiran would sleep with him from now on. Thannor had always been convinced that had Jadhiran been with him, the poisoning would not have occurred.

He leaned back against the cool stone of the wall, closing his eyes, the chill in his heart growing with each moment as he tried in vain to work out what was happening. He lifted his head as he heard the sleepy voice, "Thannor? What is it? Did you have the dream?"

Thannor immediately crossed the room to settle back on the bed, "No. I slept soundly. Did you?" He asked, changing the subject, leaning in to kiss the man.

Jadhiran's arm snaked out to pull him down, "I did. It was most pleasant to wake and see your face." He said as his hands began to roam the elf once more.

The sun was high when they next spoke. "You will have nothing to give the Master if we continue this day after day." Jadhiran's voice was a sleepy murmur.

Thannor chuckled, "I would not worry about such a thing as that. I will give what I must." He lifted his head to rest his chin on the man's chest. "I should get bathed and dressed in case I am called though."

Jadhiran pushed him up, "Off with you then, you want my help?"

Thannor grinned, his hand moving to cup the face of his lover, "No, you sleep. I will be back when I am clean and presentable. Take a nap." He kissed the man and rose, walking to the door. He turned to look back at the young man, meeting his eyes as he said softly, "I love you Jadhiran. I should have said it before now."

He turned to leave exiting through the door into bright white sunlight. He blinked rapidly trying to see. It was too bright, too much light. He stumbled forward, and then the world went black.

The next he knew it was night once more, and he was returning from the Master's chambers. His body battered and sore, but not damaged. The Master had been in a good mood this night, Thannor's body remaining unblemished from the liaison. His feet carried him along the corridor toward his chambers. And though the darkness usually calmed him after his sessions with the King. This night, it filled him with dread.

He hurried his steps, almost running to his rooms. Entering through the curtain, his eyes scanning the interior. The room was dark, the moon at full dark. His heart clenched, Jadhiran had died on the dark of the moon. He called out for his lover, "Jadhiran? Are you here?" He should have been here, he should have been... either way. The young man always waited for him to return from the Master, to either soothe his mental and emotional pain or the physical.

Receiving no response, he turned and almost ran into Jadhiran as the man entered the room. He took a deep breath, "Gods Jadhiran, you scared me." He started to laugh, but the sound died on his lips. Something in the way Jadhiran moved… the way he clutched at his belly. Reaching out, Thannor caught the younger man as he stumbled into the room, "Jad? Oh gods… what is wrong?" He asked though he knew. He helped his lover into the bedroom, laying him gently on the bed.

"I… it must have been the tea…" Jadhiran's voice was weak, his face flushed and sweating.

Thannor smoothed his hair from his face. "Quiet love, rest. I will call the healers." He started to rise, but Jadhiran caught his hand.

"No, there is no time…" He panted with pain, "I do not want to die alone Thannor." The admission was whispered and had Thannor crawling onto the bed, pulling the man into his arms.

He rocked Jadhiran slowly, "I do not wish you to die at all." He murmured as he held tightly to the man.

Jadhiran tried to chuckle, but ended up moaning before he gasped, "It… would have been… inevitable… I would have… grown old… and still have died in your arms some day." He closed his eyes, his breathing shallow, filled with the pain of the poison working its way through his system. "Promise me… promise me… you will go on Thannor…" He opened his eyes to look up at the elf, his eyes clouded with pain. "Promise me… You will find a way… You can rule here… you can win your freedom...Promise…"

Tears fell unhindered from the elf's eyes as he tried to hush the man, "Jadhiran… gods… if you only knew…" He rocked the man, stroking his hair and face for a long moment before he said, "I do not know how I have come back to this time. Jadhiran, I promise you. I do rise to rule the harem. I do gain my freedom. I go on, as you wish… I meet someone so many years from now, I do not even know if this kingdom still exists. She completes me… she heals the sorrow of my past." He looked down at Jadhiran, the man's eyes fixed on his face, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

"You came here… because you needed to tell me… You came back to ease your heart." He closed his eyes, taking a shuddering breath before he went very still, the last wisps of air sighing out of him as his life fled.

"No… Jadhiran? Gods no… not again…" He bent his head over his long dead lover, the pain as fresh as it had been that night long ago. He moaned softly, rocking the man as tears fell gently onto the man's face.

:Thannor:

He opened his eyes, the sound of a voice in his head that of Jadhiran's. The man's body heavy in his arms, still and quiet in death. He looked up to find the shimmering shade of his lover standing next to the bed.

"Jad?" He whispered, his arms tightening around the still form.

:I do not have much time Thannor. Listen. You have held the pain of my death for too many years. I came to you so you could purge yourself.:

Tears slid down his cheeks as he replied, "I never told you. I never explained… and then you were gone."

Jadhiran smiled, :Yes. The thing is, I didn't need to know. You didn't need to explain. I knew you loved me. I knew you were afraid to have me in your bed. I understood. I never got to tell you either, so I came… I was allowed to give this to you. To share one last moment with you:

Thannor looked down, the body in his arms shimmered and slowly disappeared until his arms were empty. "I loved you… I should have protected you."

Jadhiran chuckled, :The scene would have played out as it just did. One way or another, they would have killed me Thannor.: The shade shimmered and Jadhiran's voice became insistent, :My time with you is almost done. Thannor… you did nothing wrong. Please, hear me. I knew you loved me. I never doubted it. Promise me you will continue to live. That you will thrive, with her…:

Thannor smiled through the tears, "You would like her Jad. She gives me a run for my money as the saying goes. I love her...more that I can possibly explain."

Jadhiran grinned, :Then I go to my rest, content. My love for you will never die. It has always been my desire to see you one last time. I guess I was good enough to be allowed this moment. Farewell Thannor. May the leaves on the tree of your life never wither. Gi melin:

As the ghost began to fade, Thannor reached his fingers for those of his lover, "Gi melin Jadhiran. You will remain in my heart forever. You may be gone, but you will never be forgotten."

The echo entered his mind as Jadhiran faded from view and the world went black. :I know:

Thannor woke, the pillow beneath his cheek wet with tears, though it was with a smile that the elf greeted the day.


End file.
